Look, we’ve all been there – January rolls round, the Christmas decorations come down, and your front porch appears about as cheerful as a waiting room on the DMV. After 3 years of post-vacation despair (porch-wise, besides), I’ve in the end discovered how to hold my entrance looking cozy without a unmarried Santa in sight. Though I did must learn some instructions the hard way (RIP to that $89 “climate-resistant” wreath that lasted exactly one snowfall).
Quick warning: that is gonna be a protracted one due to the fact apparently I actually have loads of feelings about winter decor. Grab your hot chocolate and settle in…
1. The Great Wreath Disaster
Let’s begin with my biggest fail: that supposedly “wintry weather-proof” preserved eucalyptus wreath I ordered from Etsy ($89.95). Spoiler alert: preserved would not suggest what I thought it meant while faced with 40mph winds and sleet. After looking half my wreath blow throughout the community like tumbleweeds, I eventually were given smart.
What virtually worked: Found this high-quality fake pine and wintry weather berry wreath at HomeGoods ($34.Ninety nine) and beefed it up with a few real pine branches from my backyard. Pro tip: zip-tie the whole thing. Like, everything. That wreath isn’t always going everywhere until it takes my door with it.
2. The Lantern Saga
Y’all, the ones fabulous brass lanterns I scored from Facebook Marketplace ($25 each) appeared excellent until we observed that snow metal = rust city. After they left adorable orange stains on my porch ground, I ended up grabbing a few plastic ones from Target’s after-Christmas sale ($19.99 each). Added some battery-operated candles with timers ($14.Ninety nine for a three-% on Amazon), and now they switch on routinely every nighttime like magic. My husband thinks I’m a genius, and I’m now not correcting him.
3. The Great Planter Experiment
Remember after I concept I ought to hold evergreen preparations alive in my planters all wintry weather? Laughs in Zone 5 After spending $seventy five at the nursery on “hardy” plant life that died faster than my New Year’s resolutions, I got clever. Now I use a combination of fake and actual – fake evergreen base (Michael’s, $29.99 according to stem for the duration of their post-vacation sale) caught into foam, then I add sparkling pine branches and birch logs I literally picked up from my outdoor after the remaining hurricane.
4.The Doormat Dilemma
That lovable winter-themed coir doormat from Anthropologie ($48) regarded perfect for precisely two weeks until it iced over stable in an ice storm. Turns out a frozen doormat is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Now I layer a heavy-duty rubber mat from Home Depot ($19.Ninety nine) beneath a cute seasonal one from TJ Maxx ($12.Ninety nine). The rubber one catches the salt and slush, whilst the quite one keeps my phantasm of getting my existence together.
5. Pillow Problems
Outdoor pillows in winter seemed like such a good idea on Pinterest. Then reality (and a family of very enterprising squirrels) hit. After losing three sets to either weather or wildlife, I found these amazing indoor/outdoor pillows at Tuesday Morning ($24.99 each) that are actually waterproof. Sure, I bring them in during major storms, but they’ve survived everything else, including my teenager forgetting them out there for a week.
6. The Birch Log Collection (Or How I Became That Weird Neighbor)
So there I was, pulling over on the facet of the road after a windstorm to accumulate fallen birch branches like some kind of suburban forager. My neighbor caught me loading them into my CR-V and now waves “whats up tree girl” on every occasion she sees me. But guess what? These loose branches appearance tremendous in my winter planters, and I’ve saved about $247.82 on “true birch poles” from craft shops. Though I did must explain to my husband why there has been a trunk full of sticks in his parking spot.
7. String Light Struggles
PSA: Not all “outdoor” string lighting are created same. Found this out when my $29.Ninety nine Amazon lighting fixtures gave up at some stage in the primary snow. Invested in commercial-grade lighting fixtures from Home Depot ($67.95) – you recognize, the ones restaurants use on their patios. Yes, they fee extra, but they’ve survived two winters and one particularly aggressive hen who appeared in my opinion offended by using their existence.
8. The Bench Situation
That cute vintage timber bench I scored at an property sale ($75) looked Pinterest-best until it absorbed a lot moisture it basically became a sponge. Now we’ve got a powder-coated metallic bench ($149 from Wayfair’s excursion sale) with a weather-resistant cushion ($45.99, Tuesday Morning). Less charming? Maybe. Less possibly to present someone tetanus? Definitely.
9. Winter-Proof Wall Art
Tried placing a metal snowflake wall artwork collection ($89.Ninety nine, Hobby Lobby) simplest to look at it turn into a wind chime in the course of the primary storm. Now the whole thing’s either securely screwed into the wall or weighs enough to continue to exist a small storm. Current preferred: a heavy iron welcome signal ($34.99, HomeGoods) that would possibly double as a weapon if wanted.
10. The Pine Cone Project
Remember after I notion amassing pine cones from the park would be a lovely unfastened decor alternative? Well, seems those little guys are full of sap and bugs. After ruining one throw pillow and witnessing an actual malicious program exodus in my mudroom, I broke down and acquired a bag of cleaned and scented ones from Michael’s ($12.Ninety nine). Sometimes paying for pine cones is the clever desire, y’all.
Eleven. Faux Fur Adventures
That suitable faux fur throw I draped over the porch chair ($68 from Target) seemed top notch for about 3 days till it rained and the element began dropping like a husky in summer. Replaced it with an actual outdoor blanket from L.L.Bean ($89) it truly is less glamorous but won’t turn into a drowned rat all through wintry weather storms.
12. The Window Box War
Trying to maintain window containers looking lovable in winter is like seeking to herd cats – technically viable however why torture yourself? After killing approximately $156 worth of “wintry weather-hardy” plant life, I subsequently created a idiot-evidence gadget: faux evergreen base ($24.Ninety nine/field, Michaels), actual pine branches stolen from my Christmas tree earlier than disposal (loose!), and a few pink-twig dogwood branches that my neighbor became trimming anyway (additionally loose, plus it made me look much less crazy than my common department-foraging expeditions).